Light From The Face of The Deep

Yesterday Adi made a presentation in a scientific meeting of the Indonesian students, where Sethia and I were around too. One of the slides shared the story of Stephen Salter, the founding father of wave power technology:

"In September 1973 I caught flu. My wife said to me, with callous indifference to my misery, "Stop lying there looking sorry for yourself. Why don't you solve the energy crisis?" It seemed a good idea at the time. What she wanted was something which would provide the vast amount needed, which would be clean and safe, would work in the winter in Scotland and would last for ever. It is a good thing for an engineer to have the design objective clearly specified." - Stephen Salter

Then Adi made a remark, "the moral of his story, is for scientists not to underestimate their wives' opinions."

I felt strangely wonderful instantly, and persistently encouraged! :-) So, should I behave and respond the same manner as Mr. Salter's wife when Adi gets flu, for him to come nearer to Mr. Salter's accomplishments?

Adi and Sethia

Adi and Sethia by the stream of Bymarka

These two - they are God's strength and joy to me. They are the two who make me who I am. My identity is found, by God's grace, in being Adi's wife and Sethia's mother. They are God's very calling to me. :)

Rachel Jankovic writes in "Loving the Little Years":

The world has very muddled perception of "self". They think and tell us to think that we are all little separate entities who might need to go off somewhere to get to know "ourselves", or that a mother needs to get back to her corporate world to be herself again. Marriages break up because people don't know who they are anymore. They need to find themselves.

But the Christian view of self is very different, and you need to make sure that it is the one you have. We are like characters in a story. Our essential self is not back in the intro, waiting to be discovered. Who you are is where you are. When you are married, your essential self is married. As the story grows, so does your character. Your children change you into a different person. If you suddenly panic because it all happened so fast and now you don't recognise yourself, what you need is not time alone. What you need is your people. Look out - look at the people who made you what you are - your husband and your children. Study them. They are you. If you want to know yourself, concentrate on them.

Those women who try to find themselves by stripping away the "others", will find that they are a broken little thing. This will lead them to resent the people who they think made them that way. She may say, "I used to be so energetic, but all these people take, take, take from me and now I have no time to just be me!" And the world gathers around and comforts her and says she needs some time to follow her dreams.

But the Christian woman needs to see, "I used to be so boring! Now my character has some depth, some people to love, some hardships to bear. Now I have some material to work with." A Christian woman's view is always forward and never back. Your identity is to be found and resting in other people.

Let me try this from different angle. As married Christian women, our identity is in our husbands. We are their helpmeets. Our calling is people-orientated. It follows that you cannot know what your calling is until you know who your calling is. Until you are married, you are not tied to a specific person. Marriage reorients you entirely. Children do even more. Then it is your calling to help your husband by raising these little people. People, people everywhere and no time for yourself. But remember this is your calling. It belongs to you. They belong to you. These people are you.