Walk with God

"And Enoch walked with God." Gen. 5:24

To walk with the LORD! O, how I covet this!

Early shape of home-lesson

S: Memeee, let us study hard that we can be as smart as Papa.
H: Yaaa, Kooo..

S: But firstly, Me, let me have your paper, too. OK?
H: Hm?

H: Hm, where is my paper?
S: Not me..

H: Mamaaaaaaa..
S: *i will look down at my pen and sing song* 

Six Months with Hana

I thank GOD for the days and nights when I nursed and rocked you to sleep. There were nothing like your snuggly softness and perfect baby weight on my shoulder after some burping and drifting to sleep in my arms. Even when my bare chest grew cold of constant comfort-nursing. Even when my arms grew numb from tossing and swaying you back and forth.

I thank GOD for the days when I wore you. You spent a good time on me, and would only nap being close to me that way. Your brother Sethia, who is not much bigger than you, was content sharing me with you. I am extremely pleased and appreciate this heart of his - it's a grace. So I would feed him, play with him, attend to his needs with you sleeping tightly in a sling. He would once in a while peek into the sling and pass you a slight kiss on your forehead. When Sethia napped, I would continue about the house doing chores with you. By wearing you, I probably gave you the comfort and the security of a mother's closeness, but what you gave to me was more precious. There were nothing like your sweet baby smell and breath, the snuggly warmth of your little head on my chest. This will not be around for long, this being able to hold my baby close to my heart, I told myself. Even as home chores were performed painstakingly slower and with more difficulties. Even as I became aware of increasing strain on my back as you grew heavier.

However, one day after a two-week flu, you were about 4.5 months old then, no amount of babywearing, nursing, rocking, nor co-sleeping could pacify you. You were persistently inconsolable, you had fitful naps of 10-15 min intervals, you woke up almost hourly at night. This affected me a lot. I had 3-4 hours of broken sleep each night. I had no strength to care, not only for you, but for Papa and Koko Sethia too.

So for the love of everyone at home, with your father's resolve, we decided to let you cry when it's time to sleep. The first day you cried for 45 minutes. Towards the end of the first week you cried for 15 to 20 minutes. Through the second week you cried for 5-10 minutes.

A brother in Christ whose Godly advice we treasure, and whose mother in her 90s has aged beautifully with the Lord, wrote to us, that ...

... "there are some basics from the Scriptures that could be applied to children as well as adults. But what about babies? It needs wisdom to understand timing and measuring.

God lets his children cry sometimes, quite a long time even. “My tears have been my food day and night” (Psalm 42). For the training of our patience, He is not hurrying to our rescue always, as we expect. He delays sometimes, He leaves us in pain sometimes. Little by little He is building experience in us, to be comforted by understanding that He is still there, even if He does not intervene at the moment.

This “little by little” is important for all, not the least the children, so that they do not lose heart, or develop a kind of fear. It is important to understand the kind of crying. Ensure they are not hungry. Is it something wrong, illness or need, is it something with the conditions that can hurt? If so, they need attention, their crying needs intervention.

But, if it is just discomfort, like being sleepy, without being able to sleep, maybe some crying will help?

My mother thinks that some crying is normal, and she is a bit worried about parents who toss and carry and entertain as soon as the child is crying, even if the child is just tired. The parents are tiring themselves so much out by this, that they have not the necessary strength for what is more important.

If there is a kind of crying, even at the very early age, that is “just” discomfort, I wonder if we can look to the ways God is treating us, as we saw from Psalm 42, and as we can see from the ways God was treating David and Jeremiah and other persons in the Bible. If God always takes us out of discomfort, we will never learn to suffer, learn patience, learn to endure. We actually have to go through some experiences that make us cry, but we should still trust Him and give Him thanks.

We have the responsibility to not leave children alone or make them scared. May God help us discern and understand what is serious and what is not, and to measure out in proper portions. Some say that babies never cry without a reason, reason that should be dealt with by intervention. Maybe we could say: Be careful, attentive, but don’t forget all about the basics of divine training as the child or the baby is growing up. Little by little."

My child, do you know that listening to you cry is perhaps the most painful thing I ever had in my mothering days. It is not easy at all to hear your heartbreaking cry. I was always all cold sweat and shivers. I was hurting too.

One and a half months passed. Now every time before I put you to bed, I would hold you close, your cheek pressed against mine, your ear against my lips. I would hum you a lullaby with a low voice. I would say a prayer. And then I would put you down. Sometimes you'd be willing to be put down, sometimes you'd give a cry of protest as I leave the nursery.

And as I close the door behind me, I ask the LORD, "How long, O LORD?" and I am reminded of me ever so often asking the same question to God when He too sometimes lets me cry. And as I listen to you cry, I remind myself, that as much as this crying is a training for you,  it is also a training for me.

I have loved you, little one, when I nursed and rocked you to sleep. I have loved you too, when I constantly wore you. But I have also loved you when I let you cry, no less. Yes, I promise you, my sweet sweet child, I haved love you no less.

Mama

Blessed 6 months, Hana. The joys and pains with you are worth them all.

Suffer the Children: Why French Kids Don't Have ADHD

"From the time their children are born, French parents provide them with a firm cadre—the word means "frame" or "structure." Children are not allowed, for example, to snack whenever they want. Mealtimes are at four specific times of the day. French children learn to wait patiently for meals, rather than eating snack foods whenever they feel like it. French babies, too, are expected to conform to limits set by parents and not by their crying selves. French parents let their babies "cry it out" if they are not sleeping through the night at the age of four months.

French parents, Druckerman observes, love their children just as much as American parents. They give them piano lessons, take them to sports practice, and encourage them to make the most of their talents. But French parents have a different philosophy of disciplinine. Consistently enforced limits, in the French view, make children feel safe and secure. Clear limits, they believe, actually make a child feel happier and safer—something that is congruent with my own experience as both a therapist and a parent. Finally, French parents believe that hearing the word "no" rescues children from the "tyranny of their own desires." And spanking, when used judiciously, is not considered child abuse in France."

Read Here

30th birthday

The past two weeks have been trying as both children were ill. While Sethia coped well, Hana barely slept. Never knew such a simple illness like flu can affect and afflict a little one so much. This flu was not long after she was hospitalized for five days for urinary tract infection some time in September. That, and the sleeplessness of Hana's flu, left me with only exhaustion for many weeks, also on my 30th birthday morning.

But these finally completely passed last night. Last night she slept well, and gave me the much needed rest.

However, I am then diagnosed with recurrence of hyperthyroidism. And Adi's cough has gotten from bad to worse.

In these times of illness - and healing - God's words that come to my mind are of Psalm 91:

A thousand at thy side shall fall,
on thy right hand shall lie
Ten thousand dead; yet unto thee
it shall not once come nigh.

So I welcome my 30th birthday with cheerfulness. :)

Our lambs

LORD, "be the shepherd and carry them forever." (Psa.28:9b)

Dua Bulan bersama Mak

(Two Months with Grandmother)

The past two months would not be possible without my mother.

As I crawled and wriggled my way through breastfeeding and babywearing Hana in a ring sling while attending to Sethia's various needs and interests at the same time, my mother stood firm and walked patiently with me, on top of handling all other domestic duties and chores meticulously.

My mother's presence exemplified soundly what Adi wrote some time ago, that parenting is not about giving our children the best of things, nor it is about how capable we are, but it is about giving our children our own selves, in the circumstances that God providentially puts us in.

Her presence made me reflect that mothering young children is not simply about ...

Breastfeeding exclusively: My mother never breastfed exclusively, but she respected my grandmother's wishes that a newborn had to be fed based on a one-hourly schedule, and thus had to be supplemented;

Nor it is about wearing your baby with expertise: Too awkward to use 'selendang' [Indonesian traditional baby carrier], she rocked and sang to sleep one-year-old me - probably weighing 10-12 kg then - up and down the staircase, with only her bare hands;

Nor it is about joyfully co-sleeping with our little ones: She lived - not always pleased but certainly with a lot of consideration and thoughtfulness - with three of her in-laws, for almost 25 years of her marriage. In a packed hotel room, she would give the bed up for four of her children and chose the floor instead.

The above, and some other parenting tenets, are beautiful and right in themselves; they will be helpful guides to my parenting, but without grace, mercy, and sacrificial love, they will count as nothing.

Yesterday, before Mama left for the airport, we read 2 Tim. 1: 1-7 in our morning family worship:

"Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus, To Timothy, my dearly beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day; Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy; When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

What a delightful comfort to have such a fitting reading. My mother had been unceasingly praying for us day and night, that "the LORD Jesus be present in this home." She read this passage with tears in her eyes, expressing her own desire to see Sethia and Hana again. We thank GOD for her faith, and we thank HIM who promises and covenants that He Himself will keep the very faith from generation to generation.

Terima kasih sedalam-dalamnya, Ma. Engkau yang penuh rahmat.
[Thank you from our heart, Ma. You are full of grace].

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing - 1 Cor. 13:1-3

6 Weeks

Giving thanks for GOD's gracious gift of the joy and pleasure of breastfeeding Hana for 6 weeks - baby to breasts, no pumps, no bottles.

Weighing now 5.015 kg, Hana has gained about 2 kg since her early days at the hospital.

Nursing Mothers, you may want to read this tender & moving story of a nursing Mama & her two nurslings, Emmy & Micah: http://www.raisingarrows.net/2009/11/breastfeeding-the-memory-of-emily/

"The day we were reunited, baby to breast, I cried. I held her close, tucking those stray wisps of fuzzy brown hair behind her ears and murmuring my affection in that secret language of mothers and babies everywhere. All the tubes and wires inthe world could not keep me from her.

Life post-surgery was challenging and changed for us. Emily was fragile. She nursed every two hours around the clock. Yet, my patience held. I still look back at those weeks with fondness and an awe that I never once felt tied down or irritated by the nearly constant breastfeeding sessions. ... "

:')

Our little Hana's grown so fine. May God continue to grant her growth. :)

Holding hands

We are learning to walk together as a foursome, by God's grace. :')

Hana's first week - and on

 

Hana nurses effectively for about 15-20 minutes before calling it quits to one breast. Her whole meal's affair - nursing from both breasts, with its various points of changing diapers & socialising - takes about an hour & a half. If these needs are satisfied, she will sleep right after nursing for two hours and a half before the next feeding. At night, she can sleep significantly longer, waking up for two nocturnal feedings. 

Hana gained 400 grams in her first week. She was fully breastfed from Day 4 of her birth. 

My experience with breastfeeding Sethia had been not only unsteady, but a little traumatic. It lasted only for a short 2 months. Breastfeeding Hana now feels spontaneous & common-sensical, like her almost painless birth. With Sethia, it was an 21-hour labor; with Hana, I arrived at hospital at about half past seven, an hour later at half past eight she was born. I thank God for the experiences with both Sethia and Hana, for both humble me: nothing really depends on me.

Hana Puspa Kurniawan

Hana's scheduled date of arrival was 25th May. She arrived on 31st, 6 days late.

Should she have arrived earlier, we would likely miss our family worship's Bible reading on the evening of 30th, which providentially was 1 Thess. 5: 1-11.

"Now concerning the times and the seasons, brothers, you have no need to have anything written to you. For you yourselves are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "There is peace and security," then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief. For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, are drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." - 1 Thess. 5:1-11

The LORD's coming, though it is not known, will certainly come, at its full and appointed time. It has its inevitableness and its suddenness, just like the travail of a woman in labor. But we, Christians, would not be surprised, because we have been waiting for it with expectant joy, just like the woman has waited for the birth of her child. 

What a satisfying joy to be built up and encouraged by this reading in the evening just before the contractions came at 4 in the morning. Hana was then born at 8.28 am on the next day, weighing 3.270 kg with a petite length of 48 cm. 

On 1st of June, the first day of supposedly summer in Norway, it was raining snow in Trondheim. But Adi and Sethia - on their way home after their hospital visit - were graciously given a glance of a beautiful rainbow. We were again reassured of God's prevailing grace. 

So we wanted to give Hana a middle name that gives a sense of "times and seasons", and chose "Puspa". Puspa means flower in Indonesian. This will remind us of the last day of May, the last month of spring in Trondheim, where flowers have begun to bloom. Puspa is also my [Grace's] mother's middle name. 

Hana is simply Greek's Anna/Hebrew's Hannah in Indonesian. It means "Grace". :) Providentially, it also means flower in Japanese. ;)

Video upload testing 2: Teasing after nap :)

Video upload testing: Meal-time teasing ;)

Recollection of Sethia's first month

Week 39 Day 3

 "To give life to another always means coming to the end of yourself." - 8 March 2011

 As I recollected my first month with Sethia last year, I was stirred up to feel small & vulnerable all over again. May GOD help this little Mama once again, as He did so faithfully.

 --

 Nothing has brought me to my knees in prayers every morning like this journey of motherhood. Lord, grant me grace for today. Amen. (28 March)

 Never felt more motherly than when Sethia refuses to sleep anywhere but in my arms [with the help of sling thankfully]. :) (27 March)

 I have had my ideals of being a mother; it's humbling to know that I am far from my ideals. And it takes another step to be content about it. (25 March)

Sethia: "When I cry, dear Lord, be near me." As you grow stronger, Sethia, Mama will too. (17 March) I am losing patience and joy of motherhood. Please pray for me... (15 March)

"This breaking down of my mood and my ability to cope is not all lost and pointless. In my fragility I am tasting the world that is my baby’s. Laying in my arms a tiny gift of helplessness, God lets me feel helplessness myself. As my baby is ripening, my heart is softening. ... The busy, chipper polish is ground down to a tender place, a place where I will have empathy and compassion on a little one who will also struggle with clothes and cry, so small, not even in control of the universe enough to change a milk-soaked T-shirt. As you get stronger, my baby, I will too; we are together." Mrs. Parunak, http://pursuingtitus2.com/2011/02/22/salt-water/(8 March)

 Rely only on His grace. (5 March)

Week 39: Head, shoulders, knees - and toes!

Week 39

 "Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes;
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes,
and eyes and ears and mouth and nose;
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!"

 "Necessity is the mother of invention. When you have a second child, you might be in a situation where you are the only one who manages both children daily. Sometimes the older child will wait, sometimes the baby will. Other times, you will learn to tend to the needs of both simultaneously. These times you will find your arms and shoulders extended, or your head has grown another eye on its back, or your feet have extra toes for gripping things."

I hope so. ;)

"With prayer to God - that He will let this awaited daughter drink the air of this physical world, and also drink the spirit of the invisible world, the coming Kingdom of Christ." - E.F.


"Sing to the tune "London Bridge":

Head and shoulders
Knees and toes (3x)
Head and shoulders
Knees and toes
All from/for Jesus!" - E.C